Everybody likes a good story. And when it comes to stories, there is nothing like a fairy tale because they often end in “and they lived happily ever after.” The greatest collection of fairy tales is found in Grimm’s Fairy Tales. You’ve probably been told a few: Snow White and Hansel and Gretel . Here’ one, you may not have heard that is worth of hearing: It’s called the Old Man and His Grandson.
Once upon time, there was old man who lived with his son and daughter-in-law because he had nowhere else to go. The old man’s hands trembled. When he ate, he clattered the silverware, often missed his mouth with the spoon, and dribbled some of his food on the tablecloth. The daughter-in-law hated having him there because he interfered with her right to happiness. So, she and her husband took the old man gently but firmly and led him to a corner of the kitchen. There they set him on a stool and gave him his food in an earthenware bowl. From then on, he always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes.
One day his hands trembled more than usual and he dropped the bowl, which broke. “If you are a pig,” said the daughter-in-law, “you must eat out of a trough.” So, they made him a little wooden trough, and he got his meals in that.
They made him out to be a pig. More of the story later.
If you are not careful, this fairy tale can be your story: you are treated like a pig, or you become the perpetrator. When we do, the whole community becomes a pig pen. It stinks for everybody. That is why God texted man the 5th Commandment: H-FM— honor your father and mother. How do you honor father and mother so we can be a blessed community and not a curse one?
Exodus 20:12, Deut. 5:16 and Ephesians 6:2 are our links to the fifth commandment of Commandgram. Since God has been texting Moses from the mountain, God has been chatting to man with a message: I want to be your God and you, my people. The Ten Commandments is not about rules, but relationship. It begins with making authority our priority and respect our text.
First you have to know who to honor; and second, you need to know what to expect based on how you honor authority. Text someone you know that has issues with authority with HFM. Each of you knows somebody--or maybe it’s you—who has a problem with authority, be it parent, police, boss, maybe even with God. Get your phone and text: HFM. It’s God’s way of saying R.E.S.P.E.C.T. It’s not just about the person, but being in a position to be blessed.
Who you honor to bless the community is father and mother who are a model of authority. Make then significant. God commands man to honor father and mother. The implication is more than just honoring your Mama and Big Pape in Mexico, Eemah and Abba in Israel or Meemaw and Peepaw in Longview. HFM is about honoring authority in three areas: honoring authority in family; honoring authority on earth, governments established by God and honoring authority in heaven. The key word is honor:
12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Exodus 20:12
Honor—kabab, in Hebrew—means heavy, significant. First, to honor authority in the family is to make parents significant as the center of the family. They are not to be taken lightly. To address your father with “what’s up old man” or your mother as “how’s it shaking, momma” is to disrespect, to take lightly. To address them with “yes mam” and “no sir” is to make them significant. To care for them in their old age is to treat them with honor like Jesus did his mother as He was dying on the cross.
Jn 19:26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” Jn 19:27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.
Jesus didn’t sit his mother in a corner and throw her a bowl from which to eat, but He commissioned His disciples to take care of her because parent are the center of the family, thus center of the community—the position authority of the community.
Second, HFM is God’s command man to honor all lawful authority, governments established by God. We are to honor all lawful authority because it comes from God :
Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Romans 13:1
King David honored King Saul, even though Saul tried to kill David. David respected God’s prior choice of Saul, even though Saul acted dishonorable. David is an example what you must do when your parents or the government has not acted honorably: respect God’s choice of them as authority. It is not an acceptance of their bad behavior. If you have had bad parents, respect them from a distance. If you don’t like the government, honor God’s choice and seek to improve government. Anarchy serves no one.
Third, honoring father and mother represents God’s position of authority in heavenly places. That’s why we pray the way we pray when we pray, “Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name”.
He is not the “man upstairs” or “the boss up above”. He is Abba Father. Authority is not just about the person, but the position. Look at the significant position of the fifth commandment in the ten commandments. It stands as a transition between the first four commandments which are about loving God: NOG; NGI, NNV, KTS; and the last four commandments which are about loving man: (NK, NL, NA, NC). This lines up with how Jesus described the two greatest laws: to love God and love your neighbor.
Honoring authority begins with the model of honoring authority at home with your mother and father. To HFM is to honor God. Text someone you know who has problems with authority—HFM. It’s God’s way of saying R.E.S.P.E.C.T. It’s not just about the person, but being in a position to be blessed.
The result of honoring your father and mother is this: you will be in a position to be blessed.It’s a promise of long and good life for you and the community. HFM is the first commandment directly attached to a promise of blessing.
…that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Exodus 20:12
… and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you. Deuteronomy: 5:16.
Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Eph. 6:2-3
The promise commandment is a model on how to build a cross-generational caring community. Adults who care for their aged parents will likely be honored by their children. It goes well with everybody when everybody respects and honors everybody especially the least and aged among us. Conversely, things don’t go well when there is dishonor.
We see both in Noah’s sons who honored and dishonored him in Genesis 9:
24 When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him. 25 So he said, "Cursed be Canaan; A servant of servants He shall be to his brothers." Gen. 9:24,25
Ham, the youngest son of Noah walked carelessly into his father’s tent and saw a drunken Noah naked. The descendants of Ham—the Canaanites—were cursed to be servants. On the other hand, the honoring brother Shem was blessed. From his line would come Christ.
26 He also said, "Blessed be the LORD, The God of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant. 27 "May God enlarge Japheth, And let him dwell in the tents of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant."
Ham was not the only one to not honor father and mother. The Pharisees (the churchy churched) who received the laws didn’t keep the law. Jesus nailed them for playing fast and loose with HFM. Look at Mark 7:”
He was also saying to them, "You nicely set aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. 10 "For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him be put to death'; 11 but you say, 'If a man says to his father or his mother, anything of mine you might have been helped by is Corban (that is to say, given to God),' 12 you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother… Mark 7: 9-12
The model for a blessed, caring community is honoring authority. It sets up the possibility of good things happening to you. It builds a culture of caring. But when we neglect those who are due respect, who have earned authority, we build a counter culture of callousness. We miss out on their wisdom and experience.
Like that of this sweet little grandmother who telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow. "The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter? "The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."
Norma Findley is due more than neglect. She is dur honor like 95-year-old Ms. Dottie Schneider. She loves the beach but was unable to walk through the sand on her own. So, lifeguards in Ocean Beach, Alabama honored her. They met her every morning for a week and carried her down to her beach chair.
That’s honoring. Don’t mistreat, disrespect, neglect those in authority like her and Norma Findley. There are consequences if you create a community where it is ok to treat people as if they are less than. You create your own pig pen. So, text someone who needs to honor more—HFM. It’s God’s way of saying R.E.S.P.E.C.T. It’s a way to depositing respect in your future community.
CONCLUSION:
HFM is the fifth commandment of Commandgram. Honoring Father and Mother is a model for honoring authority in family, in government and in heaven. When we do, we are in a position of promise, that life will be long and good. It’s the difference between a blessed community and a cursed one.
If we want our story to end with a “Happily ever after” ending, we’d do well to HFM. Text a friend HFM and tell them the end of the Grimm Fairy Tale of the Old Man and His Grandson. We pick up the story as the disrespectful couple banished the invalid grandfather to eating from a wooden trough in a corner of the kitchen floor for spilling his food.
This couple had a four-year-old son they were quite fond of. One night the father noticed the boy playing intently with some bits of wood and he asked what he was doing. “I’m making a trough,” he said, smiling for approval, “to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.” The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn’t say anything. Then they cried a little. Then they went to the corner and took the old man by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and fed him his dinner on a plate. From then on nobody scolded him when he clattered or spilled or broke things. And they lived happily every after.
Live happily ever after life. The promise is yours.
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